Do I Stay or Leave the Church I’m In?
5 minute read
Before you make any decision whether to join, stay or leave a church, please take the time to pray and seek counsel from God’s word. It’s also important that you understand what a church is (Church Origins), who it’s for (Called Out Ones) and how it should be led (Church Leadership). If these basics are not properly understood, then you are likely to remain unsettled no matter which church you attend.
Also check out this page on some things to consider about your current or prospective church Choosing a Church Checklist
If you do believe it is time to leave, I recommended that you make the time to speak (politely and calmly) with the Pastor/leaders as it will give them the opportunity to address or perhaps even resolve your concerns. Likewise, their response and attitude towards your questions may even be enough of a deciding factor for you. Keep in mind too that if you do talk to trusted friends within your current church who are content, you are unlikely to get an objective opinion from them. So it may also be advisable to seek objective counsel from a trusted mature Christian who is not part of your church. Please don’t just disappear from your church and ghost people. It is upsetting to the wider body and hurtful to Pastors or other leaders – especially if they have genuinely and lovingly spent time with you in prayer and counsel.
If you do end up going to a new church, then don’t speak ill of the previous church to those in your new one. Be mindful how you explain why you left a previous church and do take your time before getting involved in a new church. However, if you do decide to stay in your original church, then be careful not to spread discord in your speech and attitude.
As disheartening as this sounds, there will always be tares among the wheat (Matt 13:24-25). In other words not everyone in church will be saved and some will be deliberately antagonistic towards genuine believers in a church. Guard your conscience and keep your motives pure. If you discern someone is being deliberately difficult, then please speak to your Pastor or a church elder/leader.
Risks of Not Going to Church
If you simply stop going to church at all, keep in mind that you are also risking your own spiritual well being. We need to be able to serve and use our gifts, participate in communion together, pray, fellowship and be accountable with each other. Online church is an option if you are genuinely sick or unable to find a sound church, but you do run the risk of becoming isolated in your Christian walk.
The extreme measures some people take are to drive long distances for church, or even move to be nearer to one. Moving would be wiser than extensive travel as you may struggle to build friendships with people if you don’t live near them. Also the distance may make it impractical for getting involved in other activities such as bible studies.
This is where you will have to weigh up whether the issues you are facing are erroneous enough, making it absolutely necessary to leave, or whether there are some things you can look beyond and stay.
Some Things to Pray For:
- Pray for those who rule over you, let them do so with joy (Heb 13:17) – pray for their spiritual and physical wellbeing, that they remain faithful to God, their calling, their families and hold fast to what is True
- Pray that your Pastor/Elders are faithfully supported by their family and fellow Pastors
- Pray for a church that will endure through persecution, John 15:18-25; 1 Peter 1:6-7; 1 John 3:13
- Be willing to serve your pastor and leader in the best way you can because you want to honour God in your actions
- Pray for yourself to remain faithful to God
- Pray that you will also have the courage to speak to your leaders if you do see/hear error or sin
In concluding a discussion on the church, it is fitting to remember that the church provides believers with a foretaste of heaven
’Biblical Doctrine: A Systematic Summary of Bible Truth’ by John MacArthur and Richard Mayhue
If church is a foretaste of heaven, then how much more should we want to hold fast to what the Bible tells us church is meant to be. If we are going to worship God and serve him perfectly for all eternity, then our lives here on earth are an immediate opportunity to prepare ourselves for this exciting eventuality. It is imperative then that we establish ourselves in a biblically sound church, with spiritually mature leaders who will teach and equip us. But as we learn and grow we too serve the church according to God’s purposes for our lives and for His glory.
